Doing Things Early: A Risk To Lead To A Reward?

I think I’ve decided to look at NYC jobs early…


I love the town I live in but there are just no jobs here that are going to be salaried unless I’m in management. I need a salaried job and although I might be going fast I know that taking risks also means rewards in the future. I wanted to wait until December but I’m afraid if I don’t act now that I’ll have thrown 7 months away for nothing in return. This town just has nothing to offer and the city that does that is close by is off limits so this is just what I have to do. Wish me luck?


College Graduate: A Feeling of Emptiness and I’m Scared and Why Do I Feel So Numb?

I have just graduated university. Over this week I have had an incredibly lovely time with friends and family most of who I don’t get to see very often because of distance. Today is my second day as a college graduate and when I did graduate I expected a sensation of euphoria or feeling light but two days later and there is a pit in my stomach and an emptiness. I don’t know why these are the feelings I am experiencing two days after graduating. Perhaps it is because that for four years I was a part of something. I like being a part of something because well  I mean for the same reason everyone else does, to feel like you have a purpose. I was part of clubs and groups of friends and classes and people knew me but now I am simply an alumni and although the college I’ve been going cares for their alumni that is all I am now. Another reason for this emptiness could also be because I don’t have a clear next step. I don’t have a job lined up somewhere and until I do it’s a problem. I’m also sad about my friends leaving and going back to whatever this new normal is now that I’m out of school. I didn’t expect to feel this way after graduating and I wonder if others have felt like this too.

I am now in a new chapter of my life. The festivities being over I am now just here. I simply just exist. For right now I am serving no purpose and that terrifies me. As I am typing this I can see the remnants of graduation on the lawn. The sea of white chairs that were once packed with people on the day that I spent years looking forward to. The day is gone and I am here in the library of my once college. I thought coming here would help soothe the ache in my stomach as it has many times before when things were looking grim. Before I could come here and somehow things would always feel like it be okay but now the ache continues and the emptiness still flows through my body.

Maybe I need to escape and go somewhere else for awhile. Get out of this town that has been my home for far too long. Not New York although I wish I could just be there now or any time this month but somewhere else. A trip to Europe or somewhere. Though this escapism tactic probably won’t cure the emptiness it would be a plan. Something to look forward to.

Some of you might say to look for a job. That that is reason for this feeling in me that won’t leave and trust me I have been. is my browsers new best friend and I have a phone interview for a position tomorrow but I am not feeling better.

I know something will come along and this feeling will leave but for now it’s here and I hate it.

Moving Out and Moving On

I’ve been thinking recently about how next year is going to be my last year of college. How, (hopefully) after I graduate I’ll be out of Bluffton. How everyone I know here is going to stay here and how maybe that’s for the best. I’ve been thinking about the people, friends, professors, university staff that’s been there for me. Always constant, always there when I need them and how when I think about it, they’ve been few and far between.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the staff and professors at my university have always been willing to sit and chat or email and give me advice and listen to my problems. I have no qualms with them. I guess this mainly talking about friends and how my really true constant is miles away in the midwest while I’m here on the south east coast and yet he’s always been there and how the people closest to me haven’t really. They do things without me, they don’t come to me with problems, and I’m not really involved in their lives and it’s not like I don’t have the time to be, I’m just not. They’ve all got their people and I’m not one of them.

So, when I graduate next year, I’m going to be sad because I’m leaving a lot of great professors and my mom and my pets and familiarity but I don’t think I’ll be entirely or at all choked up about the so called friends. I’m ending college the same way I ended high school. Unattached to everyone.

Survival On The Job Market

In a few months I’m going to graduate college which means that I have to start looking at jobs in the “real world”. The problem with this is that these jobs require 4 years in something and 10 years in something else and knowledge of this program and that program. I know that internships are basically the stepping stones for these sorts of jobs but I have no idea how to enter a job market when all the experience I have is basically everything I’ve done in college. Some people say that you just have to start with a crappy job and move on from there but the problem with that is that I really like that life I have know where I don’t have to worry about paying bills and such. I mean the life I have now is in part of the fact my mom has graciously been paying most of the bills that  I would be paying if I had my own apartment which is why I don’t want to start too low in the job market. So, I guess my question is, how can those with little to no “real world” experience get into those jobs that require just that? I would mostly like be a content strategist or social media manager because I know the type of content those people enjoy and as long as you’re an active member of social media sites it’s easy to sell an app or service. I just wish that jobs I’m looking at didn’t require so much experience because I really think I could those jobs with what I know now.

Looking For A Real Job

So currently I am in a situation where I’m not doing what I love but rather something that is making me money for $10 an hour and I’m dealing with shitty customers and coupons…that’s right; retail. While I’m doing this just about everyone in my group of friends is going to/ is doing amazing jobs that they love! But how does an English major who is just a junior find a job that will hire her? All the jobs I have looked at say they require a B.A which I’m currently in the middle of getting but yet to have. How does someone like myself finally get to do the job they love while getting the degree they need to do it? I’m looking at publishing companies, editing, even possibly working in theatre doing dramaturgical work. I just want to get out of retail once and for all but is this a possibility for someone who has yet to graduate college? Please tell me if you know of a way to do something besides retail while still getting a degree.

Hello 2017

Today is the first day of 2017 and for the most part is has been rather unexciting. I was able to start my five year Q&A a day though. Today’s question is What Is Your Mission. I said my mission is is to lose weight, save money to go to NYC, keep my room clean, wear dresses/better clothes, and take more pictures. I’m hoping I’ll be able to achieve everything! I hope you all are enjoying your first day of 2017 and if you have any resolutions put them in the comments.

Summer Plans

This particular summer is going to be a fun one. I’ve got plans for June and July and some scattered plans for May and August.

In May I’m mostly just going to be doing casual hangouts with friends who haven’t left town after the semester is over. So most of the time I’ll be hanging out with Christina, Jay, and possibly Maddie. Christina, Jay, and I have plans to go to the chromatic dragon, a gamer pub in Savannah GA to celebrate the end of the semester. I’m really looking forward to this since this is the first time I’ll be able to drink there and they have fantastic drinks. Christina and I are also going to be seeing Captain America Civil War on Saturday. That’s all the concrete plans I have for May but I’m sure more will come up as the month goes on.

In June I’m going to New York with Adam and Maddie. I’ve actually planned a lot of the week out already and really the only thing left to do is plan where we are going to eat but NYC is full of eating possibilities so I doubt we’ll have a problem with that but even so if you know of any good restaurants let me know and I’ll check them out 😀

In July I’m going to Disney World with my family. I’m sort of excited about it and only sort of because I’ll be going with my cousins whom I’m not too fond of and my niece and nephew who are barely potty trained.

In August my friend Christina is turning 21 and so we’ll probably be doing something for her birthday and Adam is coming down with his family so we’ll probably hangout with him at some point.

So yeah that’s my summer this year. Let me know what your summer plans are and or what restaurants to eat at in NYC. Have a great day!



The End of A Year

This month will mark the end of my sophomore year with not so great grades and an angry mother. I took five classes this spring semester as I do every semester and they ate me whole and spit me out with average grades for my average work. In most cases it was mostly my fault. I didn’t do the amount of work I should have for these classes that would have resulted in me getting an A and so I can’t really blame anyone, however, I’m going to blame people. Now I know I know it’s up to me whether or not I pass a class but let me tell you this shitstorm of a semester I had.

So as I stated before I took five classes this semester. This classes included; Brit Lit 1, American Lit, Philosophy, Intermediate Acting, and Anthropology. American Lit and Intermediate acting were pieces of sweet lemon pie. I pass one with an A and the other with a B, the other three though…not so much. So let’s go through and pinpoint when I first messed up.

Brit Lit 1

This class include Milton, Shakespeare, Chaucer, etc. So we read stuff like Dream of the Rood, Beowulf, Canterbury Tales, and Paradise Lost. Hard texts yes but I managed to get through them and then comes the midterm. I didn’t do so well. It killed my grade. I didn’t do two online writing assignments and the final research paper. THIS HOWEVER I ACKNOWLEDGE TO BE ALL ON ME. COMPLETELY MY FAULT. I take the blame for failing the class though I do think the percentage on certain things should not be as high as they were.


This glorious class that I took for a Gen Ed which turned out to be a huge mistake because not only have I done poorly and will most likely pass with a C (C get degrees though) I also skipped class often and my professor was also out a lot of the semester.

And Final, Philosophy

I’d like to first say that my professor is 80 years old and we had no text book. Our required readings could be anywhere from 3 to 56 pages long, the lectures are a waste of time, and the slides are lacking in information. That’s all I’m going to say about this class.

I know I’m the one to blame for my bad grades but some of these classes mostly philosophy though were extremely hard. But yeah, that’s my end of sophomore year. I fucked up and I know.